Present yourself in the best way possible. Cleanliness is next to birdliness, so take a nice spray bath before going for the kill, preen yourself well and get your Mommy (or Daddy) to trim your nails. Pluckers don't despair! Some chicks go for the naked look and it does show off your magnificent musculature after all!
Learn to dance. Most chickies love to dance, so let's show off our skills on the perch whether it be bopping or full fledged dancing {cultured chuckle, I made a funny!}. To practice, get your Mommy or Daddy to sing you a song so you can find your inner groove.
The puff, stretch and lean. Puff out those magnificent feathers you've been working on! Show how big and strong you are! Next, stretch those wingers out to show how beautiful and strong your wings are. Make sure to stretch them slowly so the chicks get a good view. After that, slowly lean towards them to show your interest. You don't want to seem desperate, so you must lean slowly! Murmur, "Awwwwwwwww" to them and blow them a kiss. Another technique is to turn you head, gently fluff your head feathers, look coyly at the chickie, and then blow her a kiss. This technique works every time for me!
Shake your booty. Show off those stunning tail feathers you have! The chicks love nice tail feathers! Again, pluckers don't despair! Some chicks go for gentlemen that lack tail feathers.
Be a sweet talker. Woo those chicks by telling them how fabulous they are! Once you're an item, you can murmur my favorite chick attraction line, "hey baby." Works every time!
Humor. The chickies love a man that can make them laugh!
Keep your bachelor cage clean. No chickie would want to enter it if they have to stand near a pile of poop. It might be a good idea to leave the pile of shredded paper though...they might get to feeling "nesty" when they see that. {cultured and perverse chuckle}
Allow your chickie to rearrange your bachelor cage. For some odd reason, the chicks feel an innate need to rearrange perches, dishes, swings and toys. Silly hens! (Please do not tell a hen I said that......it might ruin my reputation.)
Defend your chick! Don't let the less evolved feathered fiends get near them! After all, you are becoming a Master of Wooing and you don't want to give me a bad name!
Don't bite! Chickies don't like to be bitten, so please refrain from biting your ladies. If you really need to give a good bite, give one (or two or three) to your Mommy or Daddy. They'll get over it. Once you become a Master of Wooing, you may nibble your chick on occasion since you've already proved that your just too wonderful to kick off the perch.
Make them dinner. The less evolved chick magnet might get away with sharing his food dish with his lady, but in reality Mommy or Daddy made and served the food. I guess that would be ok for teen wannabe chick magnets, but I, The Master of Wooing, show I'm a good provider by regurgitating food for my lady.
Be sweet and compassionate. Is your chick not feeling well? Cuddle and preen her, bring her your toys, let her sit on the best perch and give her kisses to make her feel better. I, The Master of Wooing, bring my dear ones bird-safe flowers. Yes, they might be chewed on a bit, but it's the thought that counts after all!
Intelligence! Chicks love a good conversation. So instead of tearing up all those books, read them! After you are done, feel free to rip them apart. Mommy and Daddy will eventually forgive you. I like to chew up a page once I'm done reading it. It's my page marker. Get yourself a higher level of education. My Mommy said she's saving up for my college fund. I'll either be a psychologist or an engineer that specializes in deconstruction. Possibly I'll major in both.
Improve your sports skills. Chicks often go for athletic prowess, so practice on improving your aim by throwing your grape skins, hard toys, food dishes, etc. at your Mommy or Daddy. Don't worry, they'll get over it. Practice your soccer skills by running and kicking your wiffle balls. Yes, your Mommy and Daddy might not be pleased when the wiffle ball ricochets off the walls and damages their precious objects, but they'll eventually get over that too. Save your seed and buy a basketball set. Your parronts and of course the ladies will be overwhelmed with pride when you sink the ball!
Get used to their ever changing moods. Certainly it's no fun to deal with chickies when they're crazed, so just flee to the farthest store to pick up some nice spray millet and her favorite fruits, seed and nuts (although they probably don't need nuts since they're already crazy {cultured chuckle}). This will score you some major points when you eventually come home!

I hope these tips will help my gentlemen in need of assistance and remember to practice, practice and practice!

Good luck!,
Sir Scrabble Babble, The Master of Wooing,
and His Royal Highness of All Things Wonderful
dictated to my most devoted minion, Devi (My Mommy)

P.S. Feel free to get your male human to read my tips too, since they often need assistance in the art of properly wooing the ladies. Possibly tape the article to the refrigerator and his car to get his attention.

Sir Scrabble Babble, The Master of Wooing

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